Category: Marriage

On marriage and eternity

I recently read a post in the Widowers’ Support Network group on Facebook that sort of troubled me. Basically, they cited the Gospel in that no-one is married in heaven (Matthew 22:30). This troubled me; made me sad.

So, in my usual manner, I did more research, and came across this article: Will I Still Be Married to My Spouse in Heaven? on Crosswalk.com. A good read, if a bit…. “emptying?”

Being that marriage is one of the greatest acts of love a person on earth will enter into, this concept just feels… I don’t know. It’s hard to describe. In a way, since I yearn for that closeness and companionship that was part of my marriage to Kim, it’s a bit “liberating,” but at the same time, it seems to diminish our marriage bond. We do promise “until death do we part;” however, I’d thought of this as the death of the soul, ie: damnation, before dwelling on Matthew, cited above, and Luke 20:27-38, cited in the Crosswalk article. It’s hard to describe the very strangely-mixed emotions this brings to the fore.

Many, including me, sally forth from our loss with hope in the knowledge that, assuming we’re worthy, we’ll be reunited with our spouse in eternity. But our human mind cannot grasp what that means if it does not mean that we are reunited in our marriage. We have no concept of what “love” means beyond our human experience of it. And the concept of remaining bound by marriage vows in heaven causes many, including me, to question whether becoming involved in a new relationship here on earth is the right thing to do. The Crosswalk article cited above does a VERY good job of laying this out. I feel a lot better about pursuing a new relationship; that pursuing one is not an affront to our marriage or to Kim However, my very human mind still rebels at the concept that we are not still bound to our spouse in heaven…

Perfection

What defines perfection? What does it mean to be “perfect”? I was thinking about this as I drove solo to clean the snow off Kim’s and her mom’s grave blankets. Odd thoughts for such a drive? Maybe.

Kim was not perfect. She had her faults. I was often upset at her actions and with her. But, she was perfect for me.

The good Lord knows that I am as far from perfect as you can get. She was often upset at my actions and with me. Probably more than I’m aware of. But I seemed perfect for Kim.

Little things fill the slots to make up that perfection. Some of those little things are what attracted us to each other – that initial “chemistry”. The way she smiled. The color of her hair. Her laugh. Her spunk. Some are the way we developed in our relationship and the knowledge we had of each other – individually and as a couple. As our life together proceeded, some elements changed; some new perfections and new imperfections discovered. As our experience with those imperfections increased, so did our understanding and tolerance for them.

I guess that’s what marriage is all about: enjoying the little perfections and remaining by each other’s side through the imperfections. In good times and in bad; in sickness and in health. And we did that.